Philosophy
Brothers, Sisters, and Transgendered Comedists Everywhere:
Came across this story and just had to use it -- a combination of physics, Comedism, and the Grateful Dead. It turns out that the early universe was populated with stars that did not rely on nuclear fusion for fuel, but rather pair annihilation. The result being that they were haloed by dark matter. Scientists have termed these early inhabitants of our universe "dark stars" and are now wondering about the first ones. A forthcoming article in the journal Physical Review argues that they appeared 13 billion years ago, although others contend that it was, in fact, December 13, 1967 at the Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles.
In honor of the Dark Star anniversary, this weekend is deadhead jokes:
How many deadheads does it take to screw in a light bulb?
-- Two, one to twirl clockwise and one to twirl counter-clockwise.
-- Two, One to unscrew it and one to stand in front of the hardware store with a sign saying "I need a miracle."
-- Two, one to change the bulb and one to say that the bulbs at the Greek in 85 were much better.
-- None. Deadheads screw in sleeping bags.
-- None. They just wait for it to burn out, and follow it around.
How do you know when deadheads have been staying with you?
They're still there.
Why is sending DATs over the internet like putting Jerry, Phil and Billy in the front seat of a Volkswagon Beetle?
Neither one is going to happen because of bandwidth.
I went to a Grateful Dead Concert and they played for seven hours. Great song.
How many Deadheads fit in a VW bus?
Two more and a dog.
More?
Have a great weekend everyone.
Live, love, and laugh,
Irreverend Steve
- Passing The Plate
Brothers, Sisters, and Transgendered Comedists Everywhere, I will be at a conference all weekend without a chance to give a proper homily. I do humbly apologize. But, as with any church, there is always time to pass the plate. Others ask for money, but...
- Passing The Plate: Particle Physics Edition
Brothers, Sisters, and Transgender Comedists Everywhere, So the folks at CERN fired up the Large Hadron Collider and the world has failed to end. In celebration of our continued physical existence, this weekend let's pass the plate for physics jokes....
- Passing The Plate: Musician Edition
Brothers, Sisters, and Transgendered Comedists Everywhere, It is that time again. Other religions ask for monetary donations, but Comedists tithe jokes. This round's theme: music. Pull out your best music jokes and put them in the plate. Here's...
- Passing The Plate: Mothers' Day Edition
Brothers, Sisters, and Transgendered Comedists Everywhere, It is that time again. Time to ask for donations and pass the donation plate. While most congregation ask for money, Comedists ask for something much more precious -- jokes. Lest you are worried...
- Ann Coulter, Deadhead?
O.k., this is weird -- an interview with Ann Coulter in which she claims to have seen 67 Dead shows. Here's the quotation that really scares me, Somewhat contrary to the image of Deadheads as hippies, the Dead were huge in my hometown of New Canaan,...
Philosophy
Some Come to Laugh Their Past Away: Deadhead Jokes
Brothers, Sisters, and Transgendered Comedists Everywhere:
Came across this story and just had to use it -- a combination of physics, Comedism, and the Grateful Dead. It turns out that the early universe was populated with stars that did not rely on nuclear fusion for fuel, but rather pair annihilation. The result being that they were haloed by dark matter. Scientists have termed these early inhabitants of our universe "dark stars" and are now wondering about the first ones. A forthcoming article in the journal Physical Review argues that they appeared 13 billion years ago, although others contend that it was, in fact, December 13, 1967 at the Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles.
In honor of the Dark Star anniversary, this weekend is deadhead jokes:
How many deadheads does it take to screw in a light bulb?
-- Two, one to twirl clockwise and one to twirl counter-clockwise.
-- Two, One to unscrew it and one to stand in front of the hardware store with a sign saying "I need a miracle."
-- Two, one to change the bulb and one to say that the bulbs at the Greek in 85 were much better.
-- None. Deadheads screw in sleeping bags.
-- None. They just wait for it to burn out, and follow it around.
How do you know when deadheads have been staying with you?
They're still there.
Why is sending DATs over the internet like putting Jerry, Phil and Billy in the front seat of a Volkswagon Beetle?
Neither one is going to happen because of bandwidth.
I went to a Grateful Dead Concert and they played for seven hours. Great song.
How many Deadheads fit in a VW bus?
Two more and a dog.
More?
Have a great weekend everyone.
Live, love, and laugh,
Irreverend Steve
- Passing The Plate
Brothers, Sisters, and Transgendered Comedists Everywhere, I will be at a conference all weekend without a chance to give a proper homily. I do humbly apologize. But, as with any church, there is always time to pass the plate. Others ask for money, but...
- Passing The Plate: Particle Physics Edition
Brothers, Sisters, and Transgender Comedists Everywhere, So the folks at CERN fired up the Large Hadron Collider and the world has failed to end. In celebration of our continued physical existence, this weekend let's pass the plate for physics jokes....
- Passing The Plate: Musician Edition
Brothers, Sisters, and Transgendered Comedists Everywhere, It is that time again. Other religions ask for monetary donations, but Comedists tithe jokes. This round's theme: music. Pull out your best music jokes and put them in the plate. Here's...
- Passing The Plate: Mothers' Day Edition
Brothers, Sisters, and Transgendered Comedists Everywhere, It is that time again. Time to ask for donations and pass the donation plate. While most congregation ask for money, Comedists ask for something much more precious -- jokes. Lest you are worried...
- Ann Coulter, Deadhead?
O.k., this is weird -- an interview with Ann Coulter in which she claims to have seen 67 Dead shows. Here's the quotation that really scares me, Somewhat contrary to the image of Deadheads as hippies, the Dead were huge in my hometown of New Canaan,...