Philosophy
Brothers, Sisters, and Transgendered Comedists Everywhere,
June is the month for weddings and it just so happens that LilBro has been asked to officate the first Comedist wedding. The two of us will sit down and write the service, but we're always looking for suggestions from our Comedist brothers and sisters.
We're figuring that the service must end with "take your wife...please," although some of the other Henny Youngman lines may be a bit much.
You know it's not going to last when the groom introduces the bride at the reception as "my first wife."
A husband and wife were having breakfast when the wife asks, "If I died, would you remarry?" Looking up from the paper the husband says, "Huh?" "If I died, would you remarry?" Shrugging his shoulders, the husband replies, "Maybe, I guess," and goes back to reading. "Would you live in the house?" "I don't know, sure." "Would you sleep in our bed?" "Where would you sleep if not the bed?" "Would you let her use my golf clubs?" "No." "So you would live in our house and sleep in our bed, but you wouldn't let her use my golf clubs?!" "No, she's left handed."
What are your favorite marriage/wedding jokes? All donations appreciated.
Live, love, and laugh,
Irreverend Steve
- Passing The Plate: Wedding Edition
My Fellow Comedists, It's time to solicit donations again. Other churches ask for money, but Comedists tithe jokes. We had the royal wedding this week, but this weekend, one of our own -- Jeff Maynes -- is tying the knot. So in his honor, let's...
- Take My Wife, Please
My Fellow Comedists, It's time to pass the plate again. In most religions they ask for money, but Comedists tithe jokes. In honor of Valentine's Day, let's do relationship jokes. So, dig deep and be generous. My offering is an old classic:...
- Passing The Plate: Take My Wife...please Edition
My Fellow Comedists, It is time to pass the plate again. Other religions ask you to donate money, but in Comedism we tithe jokes. So, dig deep and give to the worthiest of causes. In honor of TheWife's and my anniversary, let's do marriage jokes...
- Passing The Plate: Sam Snead, 19th Hole Edition
Brothers, Sisters, and Transgendered Comedists Everywhere, It is that time again when we pass the plate and ask for donations. Other religions ask for money, but in Comedism we tithe jokes. So, for the good of the congregation and the community at large,...
- Passing The Plate: Freud Edition
Brothers, Sisters, and Transgendered Comedists Everywhere, Comedism, like all other religions, requires donations to keep itself going. But where other churches ask for monetary donations, Comedist congregations request that you tithe jokes. The higher...
Philosophy
Comedist Wedding
Brothers, Sisters, and Transgendered Comedists Everywhere,
June is the month for weddings and it just so happens that LilBro has been asked to officate the first Comedist wedding. The two of us will sit down and write the service, but we're always looking for suggestions from our Comedist brothers and sisters.
We're figuring that the service must end with "take your wife...please," although some of the other Henny Youngman lines may be a bit much.
Why are divorces so expensive? They're worth it.Likewise Rodney Dangerfield may not be in the best of taste,
Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
I haven't spoken to my wife in years...I didn't want to interrupt her.Two must use lines, one from the immortal Groucho, hallowed be thy name.
I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.
My wife was afraid of the dark. Then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.
Marriage is a fine institution, but who wants to live in an institution?The other from Rita Rudner,
I think a man with an earring is better prepared for marriage...he's experienced pain and bought jewelry.Let's end with two more:
You know it's not going to last when the groom introduces the bride at the reception as "my first wife."
A husband and wife were having breakfast when the wife asks, "If I died, would you remarry?" Looking up from the paper the husband says, "Huh?" "If I died, would you remarry?" Shrugging his shoulders, the husband replies, "Maybe, I guess," and goes back to reading. "Would you live in the house?" "I don't know, sure." "Would you sleep in our bed?" "Where would you sleep if not the bed?" "Would you let her use my golf clubs?" "No." "So you would live in our house and sleep in our bed, but you wouldn't let her use my golf clubs?!" "No, she's left handed."
What are your favorite marriage/wedding jokes? All donations appreciated.
Live, love, and laugh,
Irreverend Steve
- Passing The Plate: Wedding Edition
My Fellow Comedists, It's time to solicit donations again. Other churches ask for money, but Comedists tithe jokes. We had the royal wedding this week, but this weekend, one of our own -- Jeff Maynes -- is tying the knot. So in his honor, let's...
- Take My Wife, Please
My Fellow Comedists, It's time to pass the plate again. In most religions they ask for money, but Comedists tithe jokes. In honor of Valentine's Day, let's do relationship jokes. So, dig deep and be generous. My offering is an old classic:...
- Passing The Plate: Take My Wife...please Edition
My Fellow Comedists, It is time to pass the plate again. Other religions ask you to donate money, but in Comedism we tithe jokes. So, dig deep and give to the worthiest of causes. In honor of TheWife's and my anniversary, let's do marriage jokes...
- Passing The Plate: Sam Snead, 19th Hole Edition
Brothers, Sisters, and Transgendered Comedists Everywhere, It is that time again when we pass the plate and ask for donations. Other religions ask for money, but in Comedism we tithe jokes. So, for the good of the congregation and the community at large,...
- Passing The Plate: Freud Edition
Brothers, Sisters, and Transgendered Comedists Everywhere, Comedism, like all other religions, requires donations to keep itself going. But where other churches ask for monetary donations, Comedist congregations request that you tithe jokes. The higher...