Philosophy
Brothers, Sisters, and Transgendered Comedists Everywhere,
It is that time again when we pass the plate and ask for donations. Other religions ask for money, but in Comedism we tithe jokes. So, for the good of the congregation and the community at large, please dig deep and be generous.
This week sees the anniversaries of both the birth and death of the great Sam Snead, the legendary golfer. It's a game I do not play. My father tried to introduce me to it years ago, but I quickly realized that I could get the same effect while saving the greens fees by simply taking a long walk and yelling obscenities. So to honor the memory of Sam Snead, please give us your best golf jokes.
Here are my offerings:
A couple was having breakfast when the wife asks, "If I were to die, would you remarry?" The husband looks up from his paper, shrugs his shoulders and says, "I don't know. I guess so." A few minutes later the wife asks, "Would you live with her in the house?" Looking up again, the husband responds, "Um, yeah, I suppose." The wife asks, "Would you sleep in our bed?" The husband answers, "Yes, I guess I would." "Would you let her use my golf clubs?" she inquired. "No," he says shaking his head, "she's left handed."
Tom and Bill are playing a tough par five when Tom's drive hits a tree and ricochets hard to the side. As they look for the ball, they notice that it hit a golfer from the next hole on the head, killing him. Staring in horror at the body, Tom asks, "What should we do with him?" Bill responds, "I'd leave him there. As an immovable obstruction, you get a two club-length drop."
Your favorites?
Live, love, and laugh,
Irreverend Steve
- Passing The Plate: Birthday Edition
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- Passing The Plate: Take My Wife...please Edition
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- Passing The Plate: Sometimes A Cigar Is Just A Cigar Edition
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Philosophy
Passing the Plate: Sam Snead, 19th Hole Edition
Brothers, Sisters, and Transgendered Comedists Everywhere,
It is that time again when we pass the plate and ask for donations. Other religions ask for money, but in Comedism we tithe jokes. So, for the good of the congregation and the community at large, please dig deep and be generous.
This week sees the anniversaries of both the birth and death of the great Sam Snead, the legendary golfer. It's a game I do not play. My father tried to introduce me to it years ago, but I quickly realized that I could get the same effect while saving the greens fees by simply taking a long walk and yelling obscenities. So to honor the memory of Sam Snead, please give us your best golf jokes.
Here are my offerings:
A couple was having breakfast when the wife asks, "If I were to die, would you remarry?" The husband looks up from his paper, shrugs his shoulders and says, "I don't know. I guess so." A few minutes later the wife asks, "Would you live with her in the house?" Looking up again, the husband responds, "Um, yeah, I suppose." The wife asks, "Would you sleep in our bed?" The husband answers, "Yes, I guess I would." "Would you let her use my golf clubs?" she inquired. "No," he says shaking his head, "she's left handed."
Tom and Bill are playing a tough par five when Tom's drive hits a tree and ricochets hard to the side. As they look for the ball, they notice that it hit a golfer from the next hole on the head, killing him. Staring in horror at the body, Tom asks, "What should we do with him?" Bill responds, "I'd leave him there. As an immovable obstruction, you get a two club-length drop."
Your favorites?
Live, love, and laugh,
Irreverend Steve
- Passing The Plate: Birthday Edition
My Fellow Comedists, Today is my birthday, so let's pass the plate. Other religions asks for monetary donations, but Comedists tithe jokes. This time around, let's do birthday jokes. My offering: It was Sol Rosenberg's 94th birthday and his...
- Take My Wife, Please
My Fellow Comedists, It's time to pass the plate again. In most religions they ask for money, but Comedists tithe jokes. In honor of Valentine's Day, let's do relationship jokes. So, dig deep and be generous. My offering is an old classic:...
- Passing The Plate: Take My Wife...please Edition
My Fellow Comedists, It is time to pass the plate again. Other religions ask you to donate money, but in Comedism we tithe jokes. So, dig deep and give to the worthiest of causes. In honor of TheWife's and my anniversary, let's do marriage jokes...
- Passing The Plate: Sometimes A Cigar Is Just A Cigar Edition
Brothers, Sisters, and Transgendered Comedists Everywhere, It is time to pass the collection plate again, my dear friends. As long-time Comedists know, where other religions ask for money we prefer donations of jokes. This week is the birthday of Sigmund...
- Comedist Wedding
Brothers, Sisters, and Transgendered Comedists Everywhere, June is the month for weddings and it just so happens that LilBro has been asked to officate the first Comedist wedding. The two of us will sit down and write the service, but we're always...