Philosophy
Awkwardness is just a part of our lives. Witness:
A friend farts loudly while giving a public speech. What is he to do? Ignore it? Apologize? What are you to do? That sh*t is awkward.
You see an ex walking toward you and your new boy/girlfriend? Do you stop and chat? Just smile and move on? Awkward.
You?re on a first date. Finally, the conversation is going well. Then a pause?a long pause.
You slowly exit a conversation, say ?goodbye? and all, and walk away. Then see the person two minutes later. What do you do? Awkwardness all around.
Let?s loosely define an awkward situation in the following way: an awkward situation is one that is not easy to handle, that requires great skill to manage. In this way, we can see awkward situations as similar to awkward packages or furniture. It?s hard to move a huge star-shaped mirror as it is hard to manage an awkward social encounter.
Awkward situations are those for which we have not established rules of behavior. When someone sneezes in public, one is to say ?bless you.? But when a friend farts in public, it?s not clear what one is to do. Awkward situations make us uneasy, they make us sweat and feel really silly.
Many people work hard to avoid awkward situations. We don?t want to be left to talk with weird people (remember George begging Jerry to not leave him alone with Elaine?s dad). We sometimes take alternative paths home in order to avoid awkward encounters with certain folks, we try to recreate fart noises with our chairs in order to fool others into thinking we didn?t just fart out loud.
Isn?t all of this avoiding just cowardly?
Sure, awkward situations are not governed by rules. But why not take these awkward situations as opportunities to make up your own rules? I won?t quote Nietzsche here, but check ?On the Way of the Creator,? in his Thus Spoke Zarathustra. It takes courage to insert oneself into a potentially awkward situation and push through it without the help of rules.
If you need help getting started, here are a few suggestions: When there?s an awkward pause, just say something crazy. When you run into your ex, say ?I know you, we used to date.? When you fart out loud in public, say ?Yea I did it!?
Have courage, embrace awkward situations as opportunities. That which does not kill you will only make you stronger.
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Philosophy
Learning to Embrace Awkwardness
Awkwardness is just a part of our lives. Witness:
A friend farts loudly while giving a public speech. What is he to do? Ignore it? Apologize? What are you to do? That sh*t is awkward.
You see an ex walking toward you and your new boy/girlfriend? Do you stop and chat? Just smile and move on? Awkward.
You?re on a first date. Finally, the conversation is going well. Then a pause?a long pause.
You slowly exit a conversation, say ?goodbye? and all, and walk away. Then see the person two minutes later. What do you do? Awkwardness all around.
Let?s loosely define an awkward situation in the following way: an awkward situation is one that is not easy to handle, that requires great skill to manage. In this way, we can see awkward situations as similar to awkward packages or furniture. It?s hard to move a huge star-shaped mirror as it is hard to manage an awkward social encounter.
Awkward situations are those for which we have not established rules of behavior. When someone sneezes in public, one is to say ?bless you.? But when a friend farts in public, it?s not clear what one is to do. Awkward situations make us uneasy, they make us sweat and feel really silly.
Many people work hard to avoid awkward situations. We don?t want to be left to talk with weird people (remember George begging Jerry to not leave him alone with Elaine?s dad). We sometimes take alternative paths home in order to avoid awkward encounters with certain folks, we try to recreate fart noises with our chairs in order to fool others into thinking we didn?t just fart out loud.
Isn?t all of this avoiding just cowardly?
Sure, awkward situations are not governed by rules. But why not take these awkward situations as opportunities to make up your own rules? I won?t quote Nietzsche here, but check ?On the Way of the Creator,? in his Thus Spoke Zarathustra. It takes courage to insert oneself into a potentially awkward situation and push through it without the help of rules.
If you need help getting started, here are a few suggestions: When there?s an awkward pause, just say something crazy. When you run into your ex, say ?I know you, we used to date.? When you fart out loud in public, say ?Yea I did it!?
Have courage, embrace awkward situations as opportunities. That which does not kill you will only make you stronger.
- I Want You To Want Me
I've had several friends -- not just Facebook friends, but actual real-life friends -- send me Facebook requests to become fans of theirs. Some are artists, others politicians, but the point is clearly to have a centralized place from which to organize...
- Of Friends And "friends"
Aristotle wrote that friendship is a special relation that has ethical dimensions. Similarly, contemporary thinkers like Carol Gilligan, Nel Noddings, and Sara Ruddick have stressed that the relationship between friends comes with certain obligations...
- Sympathy For Mrs. Spitzer
In the frenzy over the revelations yesterday about New York governor Eliot Spitzer's connection to a prostitution ring, I don't think there is anyone who doesn't feel for his wife. The press conference, shown again and again, and again, had...
- Selling Oneself Short: Self-deception, Dating And Dive Bars.
I?m sure most of you remember the scene in Good Will Hunting in which psychologist Sean McGuire (Robin Williams) calls out Will (Matt Damon) for lying to himself about why he refuses to capitalize on his talents. Will says that he doesn?t value working...
- Malcolm Gradwell - Her Way
What do you do when your best friend decides to marry someone who crushes his spirit, who loves him only on condition that he not be himself, who takes his sine qua non away from him, who makes him feel ashamed of the very things for which most people...