Philosophy
Brothers, Sisters, and Transgendered Comedists Everywhere,
It is time to put the word in the streets. Other religions may try to bring the good news, but we alone bring the funny pages. So, this weekend we are evangelizing, we are seeking converts, we are going to establish the Comedist brand in the marketplace of contemporary worship options.
Tired of your old religion? Your dogmatic beliefs getting gray and dingy? We put Comedism under one arm and another religion under the other, let's which one smells better. I can't believe I swallowed the whole thing...you swallowed it, Ralph. This couple at a fancy restaurant doesn't realize that we've switched their regular theistic faith for Comedism, let's see what they think. Come take the Comedist challenge. When you compare your old religion to Comedism, you'll see why so many of your friends and neighbors have already made the switch:
Mainline Christianity
In their services you get a cracker and a sip of wine, Comedist services come with mozzarella sticks and a two drink minimum.
Catholicism
Their sacred language: Latin. Our sacred language: Pig Latin.
Jehovah's Witness
When we go knock-knock and someone says "Who's there?" it's not always followed by (under breath) Shit. (with a fake, forced smile) No thank you. (slams door)
Radical Evangelical Christianity
Their picture of heaven includes Jerry Falwell preaching fire and brimstone sermons; ours does too, only with Mystery Science Theater 3000 style commentary from Bill Hicks and Sam Kinison.
Mormonism
Comedists ? lots of mother-in-law jokes, Mormons ? lots of mothers-in-law
Judaism
We won't give you crap about dating a shiksa.
Mainline Islam
Since there can't be Comedist fundamentalists, you don't have to spend all your time explaining that those people don't really understand your religion.
Radical Islam
When we bomb, no one gets hurt; when we kill, the people we do it to are actually happier.
Buddhism
Buddhism: Life is suffering; Comedism: Carrot Top...o.k., six of one, half dozen of the other...
Unitarian Universalism
You can still believe whatever the hell you want, only we let you sleep in on Sundays, too.
Atheism
On the bright side, you get to keep Carlin; on the brighter side, you get to give up Hitchens.
Scientology
Our religion is about jokes instead of being one.
Have a great weekend everyone.
Live, love, and laugh,
Irreverend Steve
- The Feast Of Saint Voltaire
Brothers, Sisters, and Transgendered Comedists Everywhere, This week saw the 314th birthday of François-Marie Arouet, better known as Voltaire. Voltaire is the Comedist John the Baptist, he was a Comedist before there was Comedism. It was Voltaire after...
- Comedism's Holiest Weekend
In the run up to April 1, Saint Shecky's Day, the holiest day of the year for Comedists, it is time to reflect upon the history and theology of Comedism. For those new to the Playground, Comedism is the new religion wherein that which is sacred is...
- Opiate, M'asses
So last weekend, Gwydion posed the following question: Religion, as we all know, is the opiate of the masses -- and now I find myself wondering whether Comedism's actually any different. Specifically, I'm thinking about the work with biofeedback...
- More Evidence Of Comic Design
For those new to the Playground, weekends are reserved for Comedist sermons. Comedism is the new religion wherein that which is holy is that which is funny. Here is an introduction to Comedism; passages from our holy book, The Comedist Manifesto; Comedist...
- Sometimes It's Hard To Be Funny
For those who are new to the Playground, weekends are the time for Comedist sermons from Irreverend Steve. For an introduction to Comedism, the new religion; passages from our holy book, The Comedist Manifesto; Comedist support for evolution and gay marriage;...
Philosophy
Comedist Evangelism
Brothers, Sisters, and Transgendered Comedists Everywhere,
It is time to put the word in the streets. Other religions may try to bring the good news, but we alone bring the funny pages. So, this weekend we are evangelizing, we are seeking converts, we are going to establish the Comedist brand in the marketplace of contemporary worship options.
Tired of your old religion? Your dogmatic beliefs getting gray and dingy? We put Comedism under one arm and another religion under the other, let's which one smells better. I can't believe I swallowed the whole thing...you swallowed it, Ralph. This couple at a fancy restaurant doesn't realize that we've switched their regular theistic faith for Comedism, let's see what they think. Come take the Comedist challenge. When you compare your old religion to Comedism, you'll see why so many of your friends and neighbors have already made the switch:
Mainline Christianity
In their services you get a cracker and a sip of wine, Comedist services come with mozzarella sticks and a two drink minimum.
Catholicism
Their sacred language: Latin. Our sacred language: Pig Latin.
Jehovah's Witness
When we go knock-knock and someone says "Who's there?" it's not always followed by (under breath) Shit. (with a fake, forced smile) No thank you. (slams door)
Radical Evangelical Christianity
Their picture of heaven includes Jerry Falwell preaching fire and brimstone sermons; ours does too, only with Mystery Science Theater 3000 style commentary from Bill Hicks and Sam Kinison.
Mormonism
Comedists ? lots of mother-in-law jokes, Mormons ? lots of mothers-in-law
Judaism
We won't give you crap about dating a shiksa.
Mainline Islam
Since there can't be Comedist fundamentalists, you don't have to spend all your time explaining that those people don't really understand your religion.
Radical Islam
When we bomb, no one gets hurt; when we kill, the people we do it to are actually happier.
Buddhism
Buddhism: Life is suffering; Comedism: Carrot Top...o.k., six of one, half dozen of the other...
Unitarian Universalism
You can still believe whatever the hell you want, only we let you sleep in on Sundays, too.
Atheism
On the bright side, you get to keep Carlin; on the brighter side, you get to give up Hitchens.
Scientology
Our religion is about jokes instead of being one.
Have a great weekend everyone.
Live, love, and laugh,
Irreverend Steve
- The Feast Of Saint Voltaire
Brothers, Sisters, and Transgendered Comedists Everywhere, This week saw the 314th birthday of François-Marie Arouet, better known as Voltaire. Voltaire is the Comedist John the Baptist, he was a Comedist before there was Comedism. It was Voltaire after...
- Comedism's Holiest Weekend
In the run up to April 1, Saint Shecky's Day, the holiest day of the year for Comedists, it is time to reflect upon the history and theology of Comedism. For those new to the Playground, Comedism is the new religion wherein that which is sacred is...
- Opiate, M'asses
So last weekend, Gwydion posed the following question: Religion, as we all know, is the opiate of the masses -- and now I find myself wondering whether Comedism's actually any different. Specifically, I'm thinking about the work with biofeedback...
- More Evidence Of Comic Design
For those new to the Playground, weekends are reserved for Comedist sermons. Comedism is the new religion wherein that which is holy is that which is funny. Here is an introduction to Comedism; passages from our holy book, The Comedist Manifesto; Comedist...
- Sometimes It's Hard To Be Funny
For those who are new to the Playground, weekends are the time for Comedist sermons from Irreverend Steve. For an introduction to Comedism, the new religion; passages from our holy book, The Comedist Manifesto; Comedist support for evolution and gay marriage;...